Posion of Shame

The Poison of Shame: A Triple Warmer Ploy ?
© Judith Poole 2005

This morning finds me thinking of a friend that I have not seen for years. Although he was born 10 years later than me, still folks his age were equally affected by decisions made to avoid participating in the Vietnam war. It shocked me to think that this war went on that long; to realize that no one who came of age in over a decade escaped being shaped by that war, regardless of their ideas about it. My friend had gone on for a second degree not because the subject matter excited his passion, but because college students more easily got draft deferments.

What came to mind when I thought of him was our most recent visit. He'd been in the Midwest and had come East hoping to figure out his next steps. I knew he'd struggled with depression for years, relied on his family more than he wished, and felt shame about his situation. I offered him free sessions thinking he might like to learn some of the tools I'd found helpful. He didn't take me up on my offer, and I have not heard a peep from him since.

As he came to mind, and I recalled my offer and his refusal. it brought to mind that he is far from the only person in my life to whom I've tried to introduce the shift in perspective that has been so helpful to me. In my effort to help, it is easy to forget how many resources I have called upon and the time span (at least three decades) it has taken for me to come this far. I want to deliver everything I now understand in one push. Of course, it cannot be done. All I can do is help people make these discoveries for themselves. I frequently mull over this dilemma, and ask my guides to assist me. I want to find more ways to introduce people as yet unfamiliar with the possibility and necessity of changing their minds. I want them to see how a shift in their perspective can change the world they live in. For that is how I understand the phrase "You create your own reality".

This morning as I thought of this friend, wondered how and where he was at the moment, and what he was up to, the thought came to me that what prevented him from taking me up on my offer might have been shame. Once a therapist told me she felt shame was the most toxic of emotions. I'm inclined to agree. Shame can keep silent the secrets within us that consume us as no other toxic chemical can. It lies to us, telling us we are ourselves toxic and must keep our innermost selves secret. This morning, though, I started wondering what gift shame has to offer.

For one thing, it can keep us silent, so if others have instilled this shame in us, it protects them from being exposed for any abusive ways they have treated us. Still, there is something more to it than protecting the perpetrator. Sometimes, if one feels perpetually not good enough, the temptation is to excel at being the most bad. That may be a role for shame, but still it doesn't seem to be it's whole story.

Triple warmer is a meridian most closely associated with the endocrine glands, and hence it sends the energetic signals that activate the adrenal gland. It's attitude is "Nobody move!" It considers that its job is to keep us alive. Change, from triple warmer's point of view, is the most threatening of all, because we are alive now. Any change we attempt, again from this meridian's point of view, is a threat to our survival.

Shame, then, might be one of triple warmer's devices to make sure that we don't proceed into the realm where change could be our next step. What happens if we are so shame-filled that we don't want to be seen, exposed or vulnerable. We won't want to tell anyone anything that would allow them to know how awful we are. Then triple warmer perceives that it has less need to patrol the perimeter in order to keep us safe. How perverse this is.

Shame is an emotion associated with the metal element, whose associated organs are the lungs and large intestine, and the skin. Shame is joined by most of the lowest vibrating emotions, including regret, sorrow, sadness, grief, apathy, fatigue, disappointment, depression, despair, and desperation.

Could there then be a triple warmer specialty for each one of the five elements? Each element is characterized by personality attributes. In life we seek to balance these five phases of energy. Yet each of us has one element that predominates in our own energy system.

One could say that the predominant element represents both our greatest gifts and our biggest challenges in the sojourn of this lifetime. Each element is a lens through which to view events. The experience of the soul takes in all of these perspectives to know itself more fully and come to greater conscious awareness.

Most of us have a pit we fall into under stress. For some it's fear, for others hatred, or worry. Some are perpetually angry, while others frequently experience sadness, shame, or depression. One's predominant element dictates the emotion most likely to surface when one is stressed.

Perhaps this home base emotion is the way that triple warmer manages it's job. In it's hyper vigilant state, when it feels survival is at stake, it strives to keep everything just as it is. If it could speak, perhaps it would shout: "Nobody move." If that is the case, then one can begin to identify one's usual pattern of emotional reaction under duress. If one notices that emotion when it emerges, there are more choices. Instead of believing the thoughts that emotion generates, one can chose to shift the emotional energy, recognizing it as a signal that the organism has perceived its survival as being threatened.

Shifting strong emotions rather than believing their message is not always easy. It may be easiest as a first intervention to sedate triple warmer and thus calm the reactive stress response. At any rate, it is a worthwhile experiment.

To calm the triple warmer meridian down, simply trace it backwards, from the temple, around the back of the ear, through the neck, shoulder and down the arms to the ring finger, giving an extra squeeze to the nail bed of the ring (fourth) finger. Alternatively, instead of stroking the meridian, one can tap along its pathway. Repeat until the emotion's story carries less charge, and can be more objectively assessed.

Want to learn more skills to assist you in moving through the world avoiding reactive emotional states, spreading peace and enjoying fulfilling relationships? If this grabs your interest, please join us in the 9th annual retreat, held in the Catskills from July 20-25, 2005. At the core of this process, Judith introduces a methodology for identifying and transforming limiting beliefs and helps participants find and transform emotions to which they may have blocked access. You learn an energetic process for clearing the path left by past trauma and leave with a potent set of tools that will serve you for the rest of your life. Additional tools will be shared as the energies of the group elicit them. There'll be time for play, great food, a place to swim, good chi, good cheer, and good company.

For retreat details http://schedule.healingpoole.com 617 923-8856 Judith's retreat description
To register: info@healingtaoretreats.com or call 888-999-0555 (best time is 1:30 to 4 pm) Register online: www.HealingTaoRetreats.com where you will be charged a $100 deposit per course and billed later.

Testimonials:
A five Day Feast with Judith Poole at the Healing Tao Retreat Center in the beautiful Catskills - WOW! I have known Judith for close to twenty years. What fascinates me about her is that she never stops learning and integrating fascinating new thoughts and practices into her work. I am constantly learning from her. Her mind is a dancing octopus reaching to the stars, the earth, and subterranean levels. Her sense of the connection to the oneness of the world is inspiring and reassuring. Her knowing that God is in everything and everyone, manifests in the fluidity with which she lives her life and teaching. If I were you, I'd sign up today, and stop worrying! Sarah Benson, Sound Healer

I had the special honor of having Judith Poole on an intense one on one session last summer. It was exhilarating, enlightening, profound, deeply healing and unforgettable. I would recommend it whole heartedly. GMD Polarity therapist/artistI

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