1919
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17. THE PUB - LATE AFTERNOON/EARLY EVENING
Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. IN SLOW MOTION the camera moves through the pub which is now really busy. Halfway down the bar, the sound comes in and we hear the noisy sounds of a full bar.
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Maggie, Julie and Karen sitting round a table, they have drinks in front of them and Julie is smoking.
Karen: I go round there this morning and his missus has just been inside his trousers. I wouldn't mind but I bought him those fucking trousers.
Maggie: You don't understand. Every relationship is like cats and dogs.
Karen: What are you on about? (angry and agitated voice)
Maggie: (with condescending tone) You see, men and women are like cats and dogs. the dog is always there but the trouble is you can't trust it, you can't go out and leave it because it's always wanting for food or its nookie. Now a cat can go out on its own. You don't have to look after it. Cats are independent which is why cats don't get on with each other.
Karen: You calling me a dog? (now really angry)
Julie: She's not calling you a dog, she's only trying to explain. (before she finishes Karen cuts her off)
Karen: Shut the fuck up, at least I don't have a litter of puppies and a face like a well skelped arse!
INTRO TO "MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME" COMES IN VERY SOFTLY AS WE
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18. THE STREET - EARLY EVENING
Phil's point of view (the stranger) as he walks down the street towards the pub door. As he opens the door, the lyrics are heard at full volume. "It's a nightmare coming home".
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19. INSIDE THE PUB - EVENING
Phil point of view coming into the Pub. We see Sally the barmaid serving a couple of heads. As the camera moves through the pub we pan around to see Karen and Maggie fighting (Karen and Maggie have got each other by the hair as they crash to the floor). The camera's view is obscured by onlookers, the camera keeps moving, taking in the band up on the stage. Safecracker's at the bar chatting up a barmaid. THE CAMERA MOVES IN ON AND SETTLES WITH A BUNCH OF FOOTBALL FANS who are watching the match on the TV.
Fan 1: Miller, you're rubbish. You got legs made of chocolate.
Sally the barmaid comes over and starts collecting the empties.
Fan 2: Hey Sally, you work part time down that chippy. Deep fry us some Mars bars (pointing up to the TV says) they'll be tougher than some of those wankers up there.
Sally: You'll never get your chocolate near my fat.
Fan 3: Get us a drink Sally. I feel like a Rosemary West. I could murder a couple of Tennents.
SUDDENLY WE HEAR ANDY GRAY SAY FROM THE TV SET
Andy Gray (voice over): And Miller's scored a brilliant goal. A big man, a big occasion, a very big goal.
FANS ERUPT. Fan 1 kneels in front of the TV.
Fan 1 (Billy): Saint Miller, we are not worthy...
CAMERA MOVES AWAY to Safecracker and Tommy standing at the bar.
Tommy (pint in hand): You missed a brilliant party, should have been there, it was class.
As Tommy starts detailing his mad night we see him imbibing all the various substances he's talking about. The landlord comes into frame and starts drying some glasses.
Tommy (pint in hand): I got totally wrecked, fuck knows how on the watery piss he sells (looks at Barman). I hate that bastard, I really do. but then I scored some eckies of Billy, took four of the fuckers, best I've had in years, next thing I knew I was at the party the place was jumping. It went on till eleven the next day. then we all came to this fucking shithole for another session, wee Davey scored some speed, we sniffed that till nine the next day I found an eckie on the floor. I got the eckie down my neckie. I was still buzzin when I got home about four this morning. Totally wrecked.
Safecracker: you know your problem, Tommy? You're a fucking gay boy.
Tommy: Am I fuck.
Safecracker: Couple of days on it and you're in here slabbering like a Poacher's pup. Nah Tommy, you'll never play with the big boys.
Tommy (rubs Safecracker's lapel): (sarcastically) Not like you, ya fuckin fashion victim.
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Safecracker: Like me Muhammed Ali, Marvin Gaye, Kenny Dal, and Bertie fucking Auld, heavy weight's Thomas.
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Tommy: Yer so heavyweight that if you don't give Maggie a pork injection you're going to owe me big time, my friend.
We see the Safecracker looking around the pub, tommy walks off into the distance, the Safecracker focuses on the group of girls, we see from his point of view Maggie sitting smoking. Everyone in the pub seems to be talking and moving really quickly, Maggie just moves very gracefully as she smokes her cigarette, she looks calm and tranquil. She blows the Safecracker a smoke ring, he gives her a smile (Paul Newman style).
TOMMY AT QUIZ MACHINE
Tommy: (pushing buttons and talking fast) The first single? "Obscurity Knocks", (then talking...) The name of their studio is Shabby Road, everyone knows that...
Tommy glances to his right and sees Phil (The Stranger). The band are singing "Twisted and Bent". Tommy mouths the lines "Well, well, well...", he starts moving through the crowd towards Phil. He stumbles over a few tables knocking over some people's drinks, someone stands up and shouts "CATCH A GRIP YA MONGOL", as Tommy keeps walking we hear a voice shout out "YOU OWE ME A PINT". Tommy staggers on, falling into a girl. Tommy says sorry, girl's man says "KEEP WALKING". Finally he gets to Phil who he stabbed a year ago and never knew if Phil survived. Now he knows the answer and is mightily relieved that his old friend has not died. The film is made slower so Tommy can mouth in lip synch some pertinent lyrics from the song "Well, well, well, should I embrace you or embalm you..."
BACK TO REAL TIME
Tommy (pint in hand): Phil, Phil, Phil. Haven't seen you in ages. How long?
We don't ever see Phil (we only see a glimpse of him from Tommy's point of view) only his hand holding a pint or a ciggie. His only distinguishing feature is the ring he's wearing with the letter "P" on it. We may get the occasional glimpse of him just for a second or two.
Phil: Too long.
Tommy: What brings you back?
Phil: A funeral.
Tommy: Anyone close?
Phil: Pretty close. Once.
SUDDENLY WE HEAR A LOT OF SHOUTING FROM THE FOOTBALL FANS AT THE TV.
The Football Fans: BILLY'S GOT HIS FAGS OUT! BILLY'S GOT HIS FAGS OUT! BILLY'S GOT HIS FAGS OUT!
We see Billy stand up on top of a table, waving a fag in the air, he chucks the packet at the TV and sings at the top of his voice.
Billy: (sings a typical Scottish football song)
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Tommy shaking his head in disgust at them, he turns to Phil
Tommy: Wankers have pout the football on the same night as the band. (points to band) Remember the Trashcans?
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The girls at the table
Maggie stares Karen out with pure hatred. She gets up, walks to the Safecracker and discreetly gives him a nudge. She walks to the toilet followed by the Safecracker. They pass Tommy on the way. Tommy sighs and hands over a twenty pound note. Safecracker smiles, as he starts to walk away, he walks backwards and gives Tommy a back hander before following Maggie. tommy looks down. It's a white pill. He swallows it straight away.
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Tommy: I need a slash, you stay here an I'll get you a drink.
By now the pub has come to life and Tommy has to push his way through the crowd. Faces loom up in front of him. the world starts tipping over, just as he gets through the crowd the pub is suddenly festooned with mirror balls. In his drunken haze, we see reflections from the mirror balls. He looks down. A girl is laying at his feet laughing at him. He looks up and a knife swishes above his head. The noise is the same as the Sky sports yellow line. In front of him, the band are playing, but thus time they are all in suits and crooning. The song is "To sir, With Love". The camera moves in on the group as a point of view. Phil comes into frame lip synching the line "Stop for a bloody good look at yourself". We see Tommy's hand smash a glass on the bar, Phil head butts the camera and then runs out of the pub.
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Chase sequence and see Phil backed up against a wall, there's a knife in Tommy's hand. As he goes to stab Phil WE HEAR THE SKY SPORTS NOISE again and suddenly we cut to Tommy splashing water on his face. He looks into the mirror as Maggie comes out of the cubicle. We see her pull her polo neck down over her bra.
Tommy walks out of the toilet. He's shortly followed by Maggie who comes out adjusting herself. The football is still on, the Safecracker's back at the bar. Safecracker's got his hand around the Barman, saying "I LOVE YOU DAD", E'd off his nut, and Phil is waiting for Tommy further along the bar.
Tommy walks over to the bar.
Tommy: Still drinking the same?
Phil: Just as I'm looking the same. How's my niece by the way?
Tommy: Drop it, you know I've got nothing to do with puppies.
Phil: Your problem's that you're too much of a shite bag to ever take responsibility.
Tommy: (sarcastically) Heard it, heard it, heard it. Still playing the same old fucking tune. Remember what happened to you last time?
Phil: Maybe you've forgotten but I haven't.
Tommy: What you saying?
Phil: (pointing) You know. You know.
Tommy: I know what?
Phil: You know what you know.
Tommy: what the fuck is that? You know what you know? You know what you know. Is that a fucking song?
Phil: If it was you wouldn't know.
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The Safecracker and the Barman (Landlord)
Landlord: (pointing to Tommy) Check out yer man over there.
Safecracker: Who?
Landlord: That sad bastard over there. He's been talking to himself all night.
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FAN TALKING TO HIMSELF AT THE BAR
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Safecracker: He must be trippin out his box.
TOMMY AND PHIL AT THE BAR
Tommy: (agitated) You were always a smart arse.
Phil: Me? Me? A smart arse (bitterly). I'm not the one who shagged his lover's sister, then left her up the stick in the gutter.
Tommy: (totally explodes) That's it come ahead you fuckin dead.
PHIL JUST WINKS AT TOMMY
We see Phil run out of the door followed by Tommy. Tommy's point of view as he runs after him, we see a glimpse of Phil's back as he darts into an alley, the camera runs after him. The camera goes down the alley into the darkness, we hear the click of a gun. The camera swings around to find a gun pointing directly into the lens.
Phil (off screen): Not a sound.
The camera moves in angle shot, we focus on the hand that's caressing the trigger. We see a ring on the hand that holds the gun, as Phil talks we zoom in tighter on the trigger until the speech is over.
We see the hand on the trigger as we hear
Phil: you really did me over, I was in love with you. We were lovers. But you had to start screwing my sister. So make yourself at home Tommy boy, cuz I'm gonna cut down your blood supply.
The camera is now tight on a ECU of the trigger as it's pulled, we hear a tremendous bang, and see a flash of light which allows us to cut to:
The Trashcans on stage, the pub is completely empty, as the band perform the final note of "The Sleeping Policeman".
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the band file past the camera carrying their instruments, as the last member approached, the Yellow Sky Sports line comes down on the screen and points to a discarded ticket on the floor. Trashcan #4 picks it up.
John or Paul: Check this out.
Frank: It's a ticket from the night that boy got murdered!
Stephen: Let's get the fuck out of here.
as the camera tracks behind them out of the door into the darkness, a face appears.
Taxi Driver: you boys fancy a lift?
SOUNDTRACK - "THE SLEEPING POLICEMAN"
TITLES
END
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