SPOOKTIME

Editor's note: This is the actual screenplay for the film, which is not how the final film turned out. Sometimes lines are slightly different, scene descriptions are not always reflected in the film, and the ending is somewhat different. However, this should be enough to give you an idea of what everyone is saying and what's happening in the film. Good luck and enjoy!

1. We open with our titles coming up over a train journey, shot from the train driver's point of view. The train is going from Irvine to Glasgow Central. The train comes to a halt at the buffers on the platform.

SAFECRACKER'S HIGH RISE APARTMENT - DAY

The flat is very minimalist with an extensive record collection that consists of records by musicians who have lived the life: E.G. Miles, James Brown, etc...There is also a picture of Marvin Gaye circa "What's Going On" on one wall. There is an air of sophistication about the room.

We open on the Safecracker's face staring intently into a mirror. He is in his late 20's to early 30's, he has a well distinguished face but it is also a face that has a lot of character, the kind of face that could quite easily turn on you. It's the face of an experienced villain who is refined and calm on the outside, but one wrong look could get you seriously fucked up. There is nothing whatsoever that is flash about him. A hedonist but emotionally cold. He takes his pleasures from revenge. He has one main characteristic which is that he is always looking at his watch. Just as he is doing this, the doorbell rings. He looks at his watch, clicks his fingers and says...

Safecracker: Magic.

CUT TO:

2. SAFECRACKER'S HOUSE - DAY

The Safecracker's front door opens revealing his WIFE standing there.

Safecracker: What's up?

He is shocked because he was expecting his mistress but tries not to show his surprise. She steps inside and leans over to kiss his ear, we see him hastily glance at his watch over her shoulder.

Wife: I forgot my keys, you're at the game tonight, I'd a been locked out.

She walks into the front room (the one with records) goes over to a table and picks up a set of keys. On the table we see a photo of the couple on their wedding day. As she heads back out of the door she stops and fixes her husband's collar, she looks into his face.

Wife: When I was driving back I got all horny. I couldn't stop thinking about your dick...(she undoes his zipper, pushes him onto the floor, hitching up her skirt reaches down with her hand to guide him in)...and I got all wet...

CUT TO:

3. THE SAFECRACKER'S LANDING - DAY

The camera sees the wife leave and the door closing on the Safecracker's happy face.

DISSOLVE TO:

The wife is getting into an empty elevator, she is immaculately dressed, wearing a pencil skirt and fitted jacket, black stockings and a Prada bag. Her job is a dealer in a casino. She is a female version of the Safecracker. As the lift doors close we cut to doors opening on the ground floor of this Glasgow high rise. A load of kids and a pensioner with a shopping cart step out of the lift. The delay causes the wife to spot her friend, KAREN about to get into the adjoining lift.

Wife: Karen. Karen! KAREN!

Karen leaves her lift and walks over to the Safecracker's wife.

Karen: Oh, hi there. Where are you off to?

Wife: I'm just off to work but after what the dirty bastard has just done I don't know if my legs will make it.

GIRLS LAUGH

Wife: You up to see your da? How is he?

Karen: He won't see the year out. Listen, thanks for sending him round that carton of fags.

Wife: It was nothing. Listen Karen, I've got to go.

Karen: That's if your legs can make it!

CUT TO:

4. BATHROOM - SAFECRACKER'S APARTMENT - DAY

We cut back to the original scene 1 and to the Safecracker staring into the mirror. The DOORBELL RINGS. He clicks his fingers and checks his watch, etc...Again we see the front door open but this time it's Karen. Karen is much younger than the wife. She is very pretty, early 20's, with an amazing facial bone structure. Her clothes are very hip.

Karen: What was that stupid bitch still doing here, eh?

CUT TO:

5. BAND STANDING OUTSIDE CENTRAL STATION - DAY

THE TRASHCANS are trying to hail a cab, one of the band (Davey) steps onto the road, with his arm out trying to hail a taxi, the taxi speeds up almost knocking the Trashcan down, causing him to jump back onto the pavement.

CUT TO:

6. THE SAFECRACKER'S BEDROOM - DAY

Very basic furnishing. A large bed and a chair with his clothes thrown over the back. By the side of the bed is a small table on it his mobile phone and a book.

Safecracker is in bed watching Karen dress. She has on a bra and pants and is pulling up on her trousers from the knees up. Her hair hangs forward, the Safecracker imitates Harvey Keitel in "Mean Streets" with his hands over his eyes looking at her through his fingers.

Karen: (as she pulls on her trousers, not looking at him) Give me some money, will you?

Safecracker leans over the bed to the chair and removes everything from the inside pocket of his jacket and puts it on the bed. He hands over a crisp 50 pound note and starts to put the contents back into his jacket pocket. At this point his attention is drawn to a polaroid photograph of MAGGIE. We then hear the Safecracker think via inner voice.

Safecracker: Maggie, you're mine tonight, doll face.

The camera MOVES IN on the picture and as it does, we see Maggie pick up a phone and start talking. Maggie has a definite class about her. She is much more choosy about everything.

CUT TO:

7. MAGGIE'S ROOM - DAY

Maggie is on the phone.

Maggie: No way I'd go with a dickhead like him. Arrogant bastard. You know he's got a bet with that cretin pal of his?

CUT TO:

8. JULIE'S TOILET - DAY

Julie is on the toilet, painter her nails, talking on the phone. Next to her is an ashtray with a fag burning away.

Julie: Who? That Tommy?

CUT TO:

9. THE PUB - DAY

TOMMY standing in the pub, smiling at the camera with his thumbs up.

CUT TO:

10. JULIE'S TOILET - DAY

Julie: Ugh! I shagged him once. Wouldn't remember it sober.

CUT TO:

11. THE PUB - DAY

Tommy looking seriously deflated.

CUT TO:

12. MAGGIE (WORK) OFFICE - DAY

Maggie: No way that Safecracker's getting anywhere near my pants. Listen Julie, I've got to go. I'll see you down the Pub.

13. As the talks the camera pulls away from her and back into the photograph. The picture is freezed and a yellow line comes down from the top of the screen and points at the photograph a la Sky Sports style. We hear Andy Gray's voice over come in.

ANDY GRAY: It's a big man, a big game. But she won't be having any of his big ideas or his big anything else by the looks of it. Let's just say, her net won't be bulging tonight.

14. TRAIN STATION (THE TRASHCANS ARE STILL TRYING TO GET A CAB)

A cab quickly screeches to a halt by the group. We see the window come down and the driver pops a handful of temazepans into his mouth.

Davey: Can you take us to the Sleeping Policeman?

Taxi Driver: No sweat, no sweat, wherever you want.

The Trashcans pile into the back of the taxi, we see the cab take off.

CUT TO:

Interior of cab from a back seat point of view as the cabby drives through the traffic. He leans his head back towards the partition and says:

Taxi Driver: You boys in a band or something? (CUT TO TRASHCANS) I used to play myself but time in the Bar L...

Stephen: (under his breath) You mean you used to play with yourself?

Taxi Driver: ...put paid to my musical development. Still, the best artists have spend time in solitary, eh boys!

The Trashcans look at each other in complete disgust when the taxi comes to an abrupt halt. The Trashcans and the camera are lunged forward.

Frank: Fuck sake, take it easy.

Taxi Driver: So yis watching the big game tonight boys? Here, do any of you want one of these Jellies!

CUT TO:

(We see on pub TV) As the cab pulls away the picture is freezed framed, some yellow lines come down and points to above the band's heads in the taxi. Andy Gray's voice over is heard.

Andy Gray: Incredible, the game hasn't even started and already we've got a double booking, footie on the TV and this band on stage in the same pub on the same night. I really can't see any of them coming out winners.

CUT TO:

15. THE PUB - DAY

The pub is empty. Tommy is standing across from the bar playing the Quiz machine. The staff are setting up for the night, putting out clean ashtrays. As one of the bar staff changes the channel on the TV the door opens and a SIX YEAR OLD KID in a track suit bottom and Celtic top walks in, wearing a moustache. He goes up to the bar.

Six Year Old Kid: You're looking good tonight, Sally. A pint of Tennents, please.

Sally starts to pour the pint. As we watch the glass fill up, WE HEAR A VOICE SCREAM from behind a "Daily Record" newspaper further along the bar.

Landlord: (really aggressively) Hey you...hey pal. How many times do I have to tell you? How many times? You're not being served in here without team colors, so on your bike!

We see a quick cut away of the kid's face as he eyes up the landlord in an aggressive manner.

CUT TO:

16. THE STREET - OUTSIDE THE PUB (SLEEPING POLICEMAN) - DAY

We see the kid coming out. He kicks the wall of the pub and walks up the street, as we walks the camera pans with him. Just before he gets to the other pub, a taxi drives into shot and stops outside the pub.

CUT TO:

The taxi stopping outside a pub.

Taxi Driver: Here you go lads, that's four fifty, eh!. Christ knows, five fifty.

Frank: This is the wrong pub.

Davey: Do you know where you're going driver?

Taxi Driver: It's around here somewhere. I think I know it.

Frank: It's okay, we'll walk.

At this point the kid reaches the pub and the taxi driver sees him.

Taxi Driver: (to the kid in a very rude manner) You! Where's the Sleeping Policeman?

Kid: (pointing up the street) Go past the post office, hang a right and go into the one way and then do a left on your brillo pad head you fucking retard! (kid runs up the street laughing)

Taxi Driver: Bastard! Bastard! Bastard!

We see the driver slam the taxi into gear, the floor of the cab is full of empty bottles of booze, cough mixture, etc, we see the cab race down the street after the kid. We cut to the band holding on for dear life, then to the taxi driver still screaming bastard.

Davey: This is a nightmare.

Taxi Driver: Bastard, you're dead. Keep running because you're going to have tire marks all over your body!

The kid darts into an alleyway. the taxi narrowly misses him, and finally comes to a halt at a set of traffic lights.

BACK SEAT OF TAXI POINT OF VIEW.

Taxi Driver (as he waits at the lights, he yawns and stretches as he talks to the band): You boys sure you don't want a jelly?

Go to "Spooktime" screenplay part 2/2

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